The idea usually includes everyone in the household geared up for the new role, and Grand Mama having silver hair in a neat bun, or a situated imagine of a visible halo of sweetness, with the endearing aroma of baked goods always in the air, fresh out the oven, a purse full of snacks to soothe and quiet down one of her visiting hearts’, and possibly a bedtime routine that ended the day, by 8:00pm.
As well as each child of your own, of age to understand the different titles and roles that life gives.
Maybe even nearing a retirement plan and gift giving toward the grandkids college fund in place, right?
Well I felt totally behind, even in considering I had 5 children.
Our 4 young men 29, 26, 23, and 20 year olds, who made our only babygirl and their babysister, whose 10 years old now, an auntie since the tender age of 7 years old.
When she still pretty much needed and relied on Mommy and Daddy daily.
Our roles were the most important in shaping, giving endless love and teaching self assurance-building skills. Her brothers’ jobs were to let her know, she wasn’t alone.
For our babygirl Miyara, it was not happening, as their adult lives began spilling into hers, as this new shared role of Nanna and Papa to infants was too much, too soon.
At first, I felt too young myself pushed into a role that didn’t quite fit me, yet. but Miyara certainly didn’t care to adhere to being an Auntie already, a big title for a little person.
She found no interest in even holding her nieces when they were born at first, 3yrs ago.
After 4 bothers, she was spoiled and always told, how we prayed for a sweet babygirl, after the boys. And finally our Princess was here and has been treated as such, since entering this world. Our babyboy was 9 when she was born.
She tired of babydolls much quicker than myself at her age, yet she is a well spoken, girly girl, technology savvy and draws alot, claiming a career in production already, when she grows up.
Her opinionated, and proper speech became moping, quiet as she began exhibiting a fight inside herself of selfishness, and wanting all our attention, which we always gave to her, undivided.
We put the grandbabies on the backburner for a bit.
Even though the Boys called ,we already felt she didn’t have the full house, the familiarity’s laughter, the bond of siblings, or what the boys had…each other.
She detested the entire process of sharing her brothers’, she barely knew them well enough herself, she felt.
She always verbally called them by their personalities, as her “favorite”, the “funniest”, oldest-“workaholic”, and the most handsome-“Prince Charming” off Shrek, all of whom had other plans.
I mean they had already moved out on their own, leaving her in the house with us– older, and less active.
The Boys left well before teaching her to tie her shoe, ride a bike, or before chances to walk her to school, getting to know any of her friends, and had minimal knowledge, of what she liked, big breakfast she missed, all gone, simply before she could share in on the jokes, pranks and laughs.
As the huge, empty table, she sits alone at during breakfast, lunches and dinner was full of absences, the missed snickering that used to complete the atmosphere, or the rotation in helping with each other’s chores, homework or science projects, she knew nothing of, my heart was heavy for my baby, she had became an only child.
With brothers who remained busy at work, or with their lives, loves, babies, etc.,.
Yet it was explained that her eldest brother was nearly 20 years her senior, as well as the other’s following suit.
Miyara 9 yrs old
I was was blessed with 4 granddaughter’s and 1 is still on the way by our babyboy due 1/2017, anyday now.
In his exit, which hurt her the most, last February , because they were extremely close, but he decided to move with his girlfriend.
Yet , miraculously out of nowhere she began asking for the girls to come over. Miyara began to embrace being an Auntie, something clicked on, not to miss another moment, another laugh, another bond, she finds her nieces super adorable, and is happy she can teach them what she knows, about My little pony’s , shows she watches and drawing, and has fun making them laugh, which she’s excellent at so far, keeping their attention, talking and making cute videos with them, taking pictures of everything they do on her tablet.
This new excitement came out of nowhere, but I’m truly relieved, it also gives her brother’s reason to stop by and chuckle with her a little more.
I had to put my Grand Angels on the back burner for a second, for my own Gem’s well beings, the last one born 3 mos ago Autumn, is practically here more than not, I believe she helped flick on a switch inside my baby’s heart,
inspiring her to enjoy these memories, and find the laughter, teach, make new milestones and happiness as well as each fun moment, while building the necessary bonds of family importance , understanding and embracing the new title, because this way she gets to enjoy all 5 nieces at once or singular that fills a void with sleepovers and near future baking ,crafts, shopping, as well as seeing her brother’s more often, since they pick up and drop off the baby’s quite frequently, again.
And when she misses her nieces, My grand-babygirls, Nevaeh 3, Madison 2,
Nevaeh 2 and Madison 1 yr (above)
Mariah 1 yr (below),
Autumn 3 mos
Its amazing, for now I wear 3 different crowns, Wife, Mother and Nanna, even though I had to revisit Mommyhood twice, it was well worth it! 😉
By Tamara Moore